Nerve_Epilogue || KNJ
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Nerve [Namjoon x Reader]
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Epilogue
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Genre - cheating; aftermath; husband au;
Summary - You would never expect it really. He’s doting. He’s sweet. He’s hardworking. But he’s forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.
Word Count - 3.4k
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A/N - This is it. The end of the first era. GODDAMN. I mean 13 months is a long time. And just for context, the whole au, is over 300k words. So if you’ve read all of that, hats off to you.
My amazing betas. Thank you for being with me on this long journey. @hxseok-honee for the first ever read of Nerve, spurring me onward. My sister from another mister, my love, @casnextdoor for the prompt, the one that started it all, betaing numerous chapters, reading my rants and essays on who what when where and why, for naming chapters like Dependency, and giving me strength for chapters like Finale [R] and for loving me, to always check on me and make sure I’m not putting writing before food and sleep and mental health which I have before. @shina913 for the whatsapp messages, the inspiring talks, the ideas and discussions, the betaing and the friend that you are thank you so much for treating Nerve as you have, as your own. @jaysdimples for the betaing, for the hype and the love and the genuine support and the voice notes and asks, sigh, I adore you. And my best guy friend who I know usually checks in on here because he’s as invested in my writing as I am, and he’s watched me pace around my office and squeeze in writing time and bitch about the emotions my characters are feeling, I appreciate you.
My honourable mentions, @moresarcasm for listening to me bitch about my plot endlessly and for always welcoming me with open arms every single time I needed it.
Some of the supports that I would not have continued to update without @justmewondering-recs you are absolutely the one that dissects and makes me think and research and believe and I have loved every single reblog even when they were long and clogged up the TL. @onlythehobi as if I can ever do without your username popping up, thank you for being there every single week and having me look forward to your feedback. @cuteipat , three reblogs at a time, the hype cannot be compared, thank you for being such a great friend to me. @blushingatyou, @codeinebelle, @toriluvsfics for the dms, that hold my hand and remind me that I can talk, that I can be true to my vision, that I am a great writer and how much you love Nerve and I have loved every single second of your support, you are absolutely amazing people. To my commentors I would love to name you, but the post only allows for fifty mentions and I’m out here like?? But thank you for the weekly reads, the comments, the INVESTMENT.
Sharing Nerve was something life changing because of the ones who have read it and have appreciated the au for how it’s played out. It was by far one of my longest commitments and something challenging that I seem to have accomplished.
Thank you for being a part of this with me. Truly.
- Dee 🖤
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Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways. - Sigmund Freud
‘Not surprised to find you here.’
Helen lifted her head toward the voice and smiled. She’d heard his footsteps on the walkway to the terrace. If he didn’t want her to, he’d have made sure of it.
Turning back, Helen let her surroundings in. The moon was high, round and white, sitting in the blanket of the night sky. Finding stars was hard when the cityscape robbed the tiny dots of its luminescence.
Helen preferred the city anyway.
Helen Mei didn’t have time to waste on trivial things like watching the stars and spinning dreams like a hopeless romantic.
No. She had a lot of work to do.
'You left pretty early.’ It was more an observation than a question, but he answered her regardless.
'Namjoon and Hoseok were becoming… problematic.’ He said in his signature robotic tone.
Throughout all her schemes and plans, Huru had always been her trump card.
And not only was he the strongest one to have, she knew he’d also never let her down.
Huru sighed. 'Besides,’ he chipped off his robot voice with each word, acknowledging her privilege to experience his emotions, ‘Kenta is too occupied to have me followed for once. How could I not make the most of it?’
'Hmm,’ Helen smiled as she sipped from her glass, the golden liquid chilled from the winter air, 'the whole band seems to have that 'being a problem’ thing in common. And a few others.'
To be fair, Kenta was a great guy, Helen had a lot of respect for him. It was just unfortunate that he always stuck his nose in where it didn’t belong, most of the time it was all things y/n. And that didn’t bode well for Helen. Her now brother-in-law was too smart for his own good.
Huru stepped up to her, and rubbed his hands down her arms, before bringing one of her palms up to his lips. He gently nipped at her fingers.
'They won’t be a problem any longer.’ She felt a tickle from his breath.
Tearing her gaze away from the buildings below, Helen turned in her boyfriend’s arms. 'How are you so sure?'
He gave nothing away. He didn’t make a face. He didn’t fidget under her scrutiny. He met her stare head on.
It was his inner strength that had always called to her.
'Every single one of those men has too much going on. And with your sister and Kenta out of the way, y/n will be more vulnerable than ever.’
Helen’s lip curled up in distaste. Kim Y/n. A permanent thorn in her side.
She didn’t hate, y/n. Not at first anyway.
But build ups only had one final destination.
‘I’m surprised you didn’t come to your sister’s wedding.’
Helen didn’t imagine the twinge in her gut, but she did push it away as soon as she acknowledged what it was. 'My presence wasn’t necessary.’ Yuna made that perfectly clear.
'Well… your absence was felt.’
A streak of satisfaction curled around Helen’s spine. She needed Yuna to miss her.
Yuna had always been one of the most important people in her life. They’d shared a womb after all. But beyond that, they shared memories with their parents, stories about the boys in the playground and the mean girls that needed to be put in their place. Clothes, toys, a mutual understanding of hobbies. Above all, Helen had always valued secrets, until Yuna stopped telling her those.
Sometimes… it really was a lost cause.
‘Heli! I submitted my script for the school play!’
Helen scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. ‘The final draft?’
Yuna nodded excitedly.
‘Without a beta?’
‘Oh, I had y/n read the final draft. And I was just too excited to wait to submit.’
But we brainstormed it together.
‘I emailed you a copy.’ Yuna turned to leave their shared bedroom.
‘Uncle Kwang is treating us to Italian, let me know what you think when you get to it,’ she called over her shoulder.
Helen’s lip curled in distaste; a mild reaction compared to the storm in her heart.
They spent endless hours on the floor of their bedroom talking about characters, and reactions and, and…
It was not Helen’s work. Yuna had every right to consult with Y/n and talk about the play and even submit. But the act of excluding Helen, made her feel… small. Like her opinion didn’t matter anymore.
And it was not the first time.
‘Yuna I thought you were going with the pink.’ Helen watched as her twin donned a dark green dress with a skirt that flares from the waist, the pastel pink, sweetheart-neckline column dress thrown haphazardly on the bed.
‘Y/n said I should try a different color.’ Helen looked down at the light blue carbon copy of the pink dress on her own body. The ringing in her ear caused her to glare at her sister through the mirror.
‘Just because she doesn’t like pink, doesn’t mean everyone around her should stop using the color.’
‘She didn’t mean it like that.’ Yuna dismissed her sister. ‘She just suggested I try a different color dress for once.’ Yuna twirled in the mirror. ‘And I have to admit, the green really compliments my skin tone.’
Helen had to admit, she made a good point. The green was a rich tone that offset Yuna’s mocha, but Helen was not about to say any of that out loud.
It was always y/n.
‘Y/n can sleep over.’
‘Y/n can share my blanket.’
‘Y/n what do you wanna do?’
‘I’m sleeping over at y/n’s, she needs me.’
What about me, Yuna, don’t I need you…
‘But Y/n said –,’
‘But Y/n thinks –,’
‘But Y/n wants –,’
Y/n. Y/n. Y/n! Always Y/n!
Helen shook her head against the thoughts and her rising anger.
She felt Huru’s arm tighten around her in comfort.
Helen could have dealt with her jealousy of Y/n’s life. She could deal with the fact that Y/n had everything she could ever ask for. Both her parents. Old money handed down to her. A legacy to follow up on.
Y/n had a path laid out before her, and all she had to do was live up to it.
Helen wasn’t whining in that aspect. It was good to be in control of destiny. Make your own choices and decisions. But she had always been indebted to her uncle. Yuna and Helen were not his daughters, but he took care of them anyway as if they were.
It was hard to feel like she constantly had to ask, and there was a tab accumulating that was owed, but by far the worst was feeling like a burden.
And maybe it would have been manageable if the ones present in the makeshift family, were able to actually be that family.
But Yuna clicked with Y/n. And that was fine. Helen would never fault her sister with having friends and making them and she would do her best to get along with them. And Helen tried, she really did try to be friends with Y/n. But the more she tried, the worse it got.
Then it was her house that y/n always be present in. Then their time. Dinner. Outings.
And at last, it was her Uncle.
‘Did Uncle Kwang show up, like he said he would?’
Helen loved her Uncle. She would always be grateful to him… and more than a little protective. A flash of y/n’s face crossed her mind… especially when it came to spineless bitches.
‘Yeah, he put on quite a show.’ Huru spoke, a tiny bit of admiration laced in his words. ‘I’ve never seen y/n that uncomfortable. Add in Kenta, Namjoon and the whole Scooby gang, all in all, it was quite entertaining.’
Good.
Helen could understand that Kwang connected on a different level to Y/n. She shared his knowledge of architecture, indulged in his hobby for non technical based drawings, and they connected on their perspective of the world. Animated discussions would take place over the kitchen counter as the food was cooked, views and comments on the latest news would be exchanged, debates on company politics… even Yuna knew when she was excluded from the conversation, but her sister took it in stride – Helen did not.
All Y/n did was takeover. It was in her blood, just like her father.
Maybe Kwang never did actually have the capacity to be a parental figure, but Helen would have liked for him to have the chance.
He could have attended Yuna’s plays, Neenah’s first trial, weekly family dinners if they were lucky, instead he was always cooped up in his office with Kim Y/n.
It wasn’t until much later that Helen had learned why.
It was disgusting the way y/n had sold herself. Whether it was her Uncle’s attention, or dirt on him so she could steal his shares, the game y/n had played was slow, methodical and beyond repulsive. Helen’s actions paled in comparison.
And for far too long, Helen had let it go. She’d stepped away, took a backseat, as a friend, as a sister, even as a niece, but once her Uncle told her about y/n’s antics, it was game over.
‘Heli,’ Huru nipped Helen’s chin. ‘Where’d you go?’
‘Thinking about our next step,’ she replied wistfully. ‘Maiya is definitely out of the equation.
'So ‘Neenah’ is not going to represent her and get her out?'
Helen clicked her tongue, the light teasing in Huru’s tone keeping her annoyance at Maiya at bay. 'She’s played her part. She had all the tools, including a gun and her role all but set out for her in easy steps and she still fucked it up.’
Maiya Song had been one of Helen’s roommates in university. It was an easy friendship. Maiya wanted to find her brother, and Helen wanted to be a good lawyer.
Over the years Helen had handled helping find Mihlan, convincing him of his sister’s intentions, that all she wanted was to provide a better life for him. Helen had even designated herself the Song family lawyer, saving Mihlan more times than she could count and playing an active role in his journey in and out of rehab centers.
But everyone had their limits. And Helen was no longer the soft-hearted, giving woman she was when she was younger.
At some point Maiya was less of a friend, and more of a burden. But Maiya always begged, and pleaded to save her brother, even when Mihlan deliberately did the wrong things and joined the wrong crowds and Helen understood the love one would have for their sibling… But enough was enough.
Helen didn’t even care that the most recent incident wasn’t Mihlan’s fault, he’d used up all of his ‘get out of jail free’ cards and Neenah had a lot more going on.
Gambit had cheated her out of that promotion. Her superiors had known that she used a different name outside the practice. It was non-legal and not ethically or morally wrong. Her name on the bar was Neenah Jae for chrissake.
But it was all too 'iffy’ according to the board. And such a character could not be on the front-line of the firm.
They would live to regret their decision. Helen would make sure of it.
So yeah, Maiya Song was done, so was her brother. They were effectively removed from the situation. And if Maiya sang like her surname implied, Helen had a lot more to nail her with. Mihlan Song had been very busy.
And Huru had been saving her ass, so many times, in the secrets department and more. That heads up before Y/n and Namjoon visited Gambit was so small, but also one of many perks to having him on the inside.
'Thank you for splicing the footage by the way,’ Helen curled her fingers between Huru’s, 'and for planting the gun behind the counter of VIP3 for her to pick up with her Orbit uniform.’
Huru shrugged. ‘It wasn’t hard.’ He rested his head on her shoulder and looked toward the city nightlife. ‘When I was checking the counter for cameras or chips, I just had to strap it under, so the ‘waitress’ for the evening could easily get a hold of it.’
‘Yeah, Bree’s security is quite thorough, especially with weapons. Only certain bodyguards and security detail can get around the rule. Her own bouncers aren’t allowed to carry firearms.’
‘Too bad Maiya didn’t use it properly. It was a complete and utter shitshow.’
‘Just like her brother.’
Helen clenched her hands on the railing in front of her and let the cold of the steel bite her skin. ‘It would have been so easy, so easy, if Y/n just left him.’ Or if Maiya just got a lucky shot.
As far as Helen knew, Y/n was always insecure about her relationship with her husband, she always thought she was less, that he deserved better. She was right.
And by blowing up at her straight after the confession and telling her to stay with Namjoon out of desperation, Helen thought Y/n would be too proud not to leave him. Obviously not out of self-respect, but of the fear that she really would never be enough for the idol.
Y/n’s world would crumble if only Namjoon was removed from the equation. Helen had already bided her time, waiting for her sister to take Kenta away.
Having her husband, having Yuna, Kenta, the band to turn to, gave Y/n a strength that no one, not even Helen could contest with.
But one by one, her plans had been falling apart.
‘As for the footage, it didn’t take long. The same system was used at the bar.’
There was a consolation there. ‘At least Kenta doesn’t suspect anything about that footage.’
‘He doesn’t because he hasn’t seen it. That harddrive was taken by Yoongi and Jin.’ Huru had been collecting facts ever since she’d decided to put him on their radar.
Helen knew Y/n would want to keep things quiet, always thinking practically about reputation and career longevity. But even then, y/n would want to have some sort of control of the situation when the pictures were ‘leaked’.
A private investigator, one whose skills were too good to pass-up. Kenta knew he’d fucked up by pulling Huru in, but Huru was the best, and it was too late now.
Of course, Huru knew who Maiya’s roommate was. Helen turned her head to rub her cheek against Huru’s. He knew Neenah Jae, up close and personal.
‘But they can’t have any of the drive’s contents getting out so it’s most probably destroyed. To top it off, the band wouldn’t want to actually see any of that footage again. It was too disappointing for them.’
‘Collateral damage.’ Helen heard herself say. The idea that Namjoon cheated on Y/n of his own free will, may have not played out as well as Helen liked, but it was still a solid one.
Getting a hold of the drive from Hazey’s bar was not a priority, but she would have to look into convincing Huru to take the risk to look for it. If Kenta watched it as meticulously as he watched the club footage, he’d find the parts that Huru deleted. Particularly the parts containing Maiya lacing Namjoon’s alcohol with hallucinogenics. If Namjoon were to be put through a urine test the days after, his results would have lit up like a Christmas Tree. Ketamine. Xanax. PCP. All capable of leaving him fatigued with uncoordinated movements, and completely susceptible to suggestion… he could have died considering she’d tied it all with alcohol, but they were a small dosage and it was worth the risk. Kim Namjoon loved his wife to obsession, and he was physically imposing, healthy, due to strenuous workouts and precision-based choreography, not to mention diets that kept him functioning.
Helen had to face it. A naked woman could approach Namjoon and he’d never take her up on the offer – Y/n was too important.
She scoffed. Y/n was always too important to everyone.
Poor Namjoon. The sad part was that he would never know, he was never the one at fault. The only ones who knew about the drugs were either in jail, or would never say so. Huru definitely wouldn’t.
‘The wake-up call for that family is necessary.’ Helen shook her head in mock disappointment. ‘If only they knew each other’s secrets. A relationship under the radar, the oldest’s secret obsession, the demons that haunt every single one of them…’ she scoffed at the information Huru had dug up about the band. It was only a matter of time before they fell apart. She turned her head up to look at Huru. ‘And you’ll be y/n’s knight in shining armor when all hell breaks loose.’
Huru smirked. ‘Jealous.’
Helen glanced at his lips and back. ‘Very.’
It was always the plan to make it look like he was into y/n. Everyone would be more focused on him trying to get close to y/n and not suspect ulterior motives.
Possession. Jealousy. Protectiveness. They were all very volatile emotions, easily straining the band’s so-called strong bond with y/n and paving the way for an eruptive response purely for the cinematic experience.
When they broke away from their soft kiss, she breathed deeply, letting her thoughts be, oddly feeling more relaxed than she thought possible.
‘I’ve never asked you this,’ Huru started, ‘to be fair, I actually assumed that this was all about exposing y/n and making her as miserable as possible in the process, but…. I have yet to hear of that part of the plan. So what’s the endgame?’
The question made Helen frown. It was a redundant one, especially because they were so deep in the game.
‘Exposing y/n will do no good. We don’t have proof of it.’ Helen scoffed. ‘It’s a long shot when everyone trusts her so blindly. Any accusation… will fall on deaf ears.’ She folded her arms when Huru finished the last bit of her drink. ‘Do I want her without her family and her husband, sure, but my endgame has always been to separate her from my sister.’
Huru fell silent. ‘I’m not sure that’s possible, Heli.’
‘We’ll make it happen.’
Making y/n miserable was only a perk. Having her feel alone, having her loved ones ripped away from her, watching her life fall apart – Helen would be there for every minute of it.
‘I’ve already got Yuna across the country.’ Helen thought out loud. Huru tilted his head sideways in confusion. She smiled as she answered his silent question. ‘Who do you think negotiated the contract to get Yuna Mei to produce her own movie?’
A minute of stunned silence.
‘Wow.’ Huru said without emotion.
It didn’t take much. Gambit handled the studio’s legalities in Korea. Neenah played a part in the legal team, and slipping in Yuna’s name, along with her resume didn’t take much work. Yuna was, after all, very good at her job.
‘I’d do anything for my sister, Huru. You know that.’ Yuna might never love her as much, as she had stated, ‘at some point it’s your character… and I can’t deal with it anymore’ but Helen would always look out for her.
‘I know,’ Huru’s arms curled around her and crushed her to his front. ‘I’m here for you, baby. Whatever you need. I just hope it’s all worth it.’
It will be.
Helen was not naïve enough to believe that ruining y/n’s life would make her happy, but she did know that some part of her wanted to feel less… pain.
She had survived losing her parents. She survived losing her sister. She survived being alone and having no one to turn to. She survived that failed test, the cases she lost, the physical attack from one of her clients, the misogynistic behavior at her firm, the bitchy senior lawyer she got fired, processing her uncle’s experience – Helen survived it all and she survived it alone. But being strong didn’t negate the amount of struggle she had to go through. And maybe she was obsessed and a little psychotic and maybe it didn’t make sense to anyone else and maybe it never would… all Helen knew was that she would not be the only one to suffer anymore, consequences be damned, but Helen Mei would not be the only one with a heart broken beyond repair.
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Epilogue
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