[Video description: TikTok by @ LudaWinTheSky that starts showing a person with a calf brace and a red cane sitting on a couch as their partner brings them a mug. Narration says, ‘And would you stay with them? What if they became disabled?’ The two kiss and then stand, dancing together in place. The voiceover continues, ‘They ask as if our lives are their worst case scenario. And in that moment by mind takes me to every single disabled person about to create a dating app profile, wondering if they should use the photos that show their condition.’ The couple hugs, and then the other person lifts the speaker up and sways in place.
Voiceover continues, ‘I think about those first conversations or first dates, wondering when the right time to divulge the fact you have a disability is, or when to explain what having that disability actually means from day to day.’ The person sets the speaker back on the ground, and text below them says, ‘So far...staying for 3 years…’ The footage cuts to two people, one in a manual wheelchair, dancing together, with text that says, ‘staying for 10 years…’
The voiceover continues, ‘It’s just a joke, they tell you, as they find comedy in their stereotypical impressions of disabled people, making hand gestures to imitate their clearly very lacking perception of disability looks like.’ The footage cuts to a person in a powerchair kissing another person sitting on their lap. Text says, ‘staying for 15 months…’ The narration continues, ‘And now I remember that all too familiar joke.’ The footage shows two people cuddling together with text that says, ‘staying for 2.5 years…’
The voiceover continues, ‘You know, the one about dating and parking spaces.’ The footage shows someone in a manual chair smiling at the camera while being pushed by their partner. Text says, ‘staying for 5 years…’ This cuts to footage of a couple smiling at the camera at night, with text that says, ‘staying for 10 years...’
The narration continues, ‘One told all too often, so much so that I don’t even need to repeat it.’ The footage shows two people playing with a baby elephant, with text that says, ‘staying for 1 year…’ The narration continues, ‘But comedy should never be punching down.’ The footage shows a couple dancing, one in a wheelchair, while wearing ear protection. The person standing twirls their partner and their chair around and then kisses their partner. Text sasy, ‘staying for 4 years…’ The footage cuts to a couple standing on a rainy balcony in front of tall trees with text that says, ‘staying 5.5 years…’
The narration continues, ‘And as a disabled woman, it is all too real to feel as if you are at the bottom of a pile that you had no part in creating.’ The footage cuts to a couple lounging in an outdoor chair with text that says, ‘staying for 4 years…’ The next clip shows a couple in a dance studio kissing with text that says, ‘staying for 9 years…’ followed by POV footage of someone’s partner helping to adjust their leg at a pool, with text that says, ‘staying for 4 years...’ The narration continues, ‘And when fact dictates that disabled woman are six times more likely to be left during illness than men.’ The footage cuts to a person in a wedding dress reaching over to kiss a person in a tuxedo sitting in a powerchair, with text that says, ‘staying for 5 years…’
The narration continues, ‘Or when considering the vast statistics of disabled people facing abuse in relationships, I struggle to see the funny side.’ The footage cuts to two people walking outside while smiling at the camera, with text that says, ‘staing 1.5 years…’ This is followed by footage of a different couple sticking their tongues out playfully at the camera, with text that says, ‘staying 4 years…’ The next clip shows a person sitting on a pile of pillows and being helped by their partner to stand up, with text that says, ‘staying 3.5 years.’
The narration continues, ‘When I heard a conversation this week between able-bodied men laughing as they discussed the real lives of those of us living with disabilities, as though we are not real people, I’m sad to say that even despite all the work I’ve put in to dealing with interalised ableism, and even though I’ve been in a secure relationship for three years, I found myself turning to my partner and double-checking. You’re not embarrassed by my mobility aids are you?’ During this segment, the footage cuts to mirror footage of a person in a manual chair holding a large stuffed bear and a gift in their lap, smiling at the camera as their partner kisses the side of their head. Text says, ‘staying for a year…’ This is followed by POV footage of a person being tucked into bed by their partner, with text that says, ‘staying for a year…’ The next clip shows a small group dancing in a room with bright lights and fog, with text that says, ‘staying for 5 years…’ This is followed by a clip of a person in a manual chair with their partner at an outdoor event with long vertical string lights and text that says, ‘staying for over a year…’ The next clip shows people dancing in wedding attire at a church, with text that says, ‘staying for 2 years…’ After this is a clip of a couple smiling at the camera with text that says, ‘staying for 3.5 years…’
The narration continues, ‘My partner put my mind to rest instantly, and suddenly I realised. This conversation shouldn’t centre those with closed minds, those who lack compassion and empathy, those who fail to acknowledge that disabled people are the largest minority in the world, one that anybody could join at any given time.’ The footage in this sigment starts with a person filming their partner, who is sitting on a couch, over their shoulder, with text that says, ‘staying for 10 yaers…’ This is followed by dark footage in with only brightly lighted glowstick necklaces visible, with text that says, ‘staying for 6.5 years.’ The next clip shows a couple holding sparklers in their hands, with text that says, ‘staying for 3 years…’ This is followed by a clip of a couple walking out of a church in wedding clothes, with text that says, ‘staying for 17 years…’ The next clip shows a couple posing with colourful drinks, with text that says, ‘staying for 8 years.’ Next is footage of a couple on a snowy road smiling with an infant, with text that says, ‘staying for 9 years.’
The narration continues, ‘Instead, this should be a reminder to disabled people, a reminder that you are so valuable and so worthy of love. You are so worth staying for.’ The footage shows a person with a leg brace getting a foot massage from their partner on a sofa, with text that says, ‘staying for 8 months…’ The next clip shows people hiking, with text that says, ‘staying for 3 years…’ This is followed by footage of people in rain coats walking by a spray of water from a waterfall on a mountainside, with text that says, ‘staying for 5 years…’ Next is footage of a couple posing with their black cat, with text that says, ‘staying for 13 years…’ The next clip shows a person smiling as their wheelchair is pushed by their partner in a car park, with text that says, ‘staying for 2 years…’ This is followed by footage of a person proposing to their partner, who has a cane, in the middle of a large stone building, with text that says, ‘staying for 2 years...’
The narration concludes, ‘And when people show themselves to be incapable of being with someone as resilient and wonderful as you are, thank goodness that they made your path to finding the right person so much clearer.’ \End description]
