Humanity has finally reached the stars and found out why no one had contacted us. The universe is in a sad state. As such, Doctors without Borders, Red Cross, and many othe charities go intergalactic.
“If I don’t reply by tomorrow, then consider me dead.”
It’s been two years since you got that message, and you haven’t seen them since.
Suddenly, your phone lights up: “Sorry, that took longer than I thought.”
You’ve been chosen as this decade’s sacrifice to the Forest God. Everyone believes the sacrifices are simply eaten. You learned the truth—and know why no one wants to return to the village.
The defeated and bloodied king was chained to kneel in front of his enemy and he says weakly: “Is my wife still alive?” His enemy nodded.
“You fools,” he said smirking, and the king starts laughing as the sounds of explosions getting closer shake the room.
The adventuring party is now fully convinced that a cast-iron frying pan with a fire enchantment is the most versatile piece of equipment they can use.
ALT
ALTFor anyone who needs this
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As a joke you had always said “I dedicate this to Hades” as you threw away food scraps from your cooking and cleaning your plates. When you die you find yourself in front of Charon’s boat with Hades sitting in it, seemingly very excited to see his most devoted follower in recent times.
“But father, she saved my life and I love her,” said the princess to the king.
“My child, I don’t think you quite understand my gripes with this arrangement,” turning to look at the absolutely FERAL heroine who was currently gnawing on a monster bone twice her size.
“WHY DON’T YOU KILL US?”
“I’ve got a no-kill rule.”
“YEAH, I KNOW, but the medical expenses sent Lenny into bankruptcy and he ended up killing himself because of that. He had a kid, you know.”
Everyone was shocked when the rapture actually happened. Those of us who weren’t taken had symbols seared onto our foreheads. It took months for scientists to decode it. Finally it was decoded and it read: “DO NO HARVEST, NOT FIT FOR CONSUMPTION.”
