The Winter Sun (1)
Alone in the World
Summary: Your life in the Red Keep isn’t easy.
Pairing: Cregan Stark x Fem!Targaryen Reader
Warnings: Death of characters, cursing, medieval and asoif customs, child on child violence, bullying, implied minors in pleasure houses, the boys are manaces, mentions of death on childbirth, might miss some warnings
Wordcount: 3 k
Notes: I’m going to delay Viserys’ death a couple of years for the sake of the ages of this history, of course I’m aging Cregan a little bit as well
This is… different, to everything I’ve ever written and I apologize if it looks too rough, I was so excited to share it with you!
Hope you like
120 AC. Reader is 10, Cregan is 12 years older
King’s landing was submerged in celebration.
Everyone was in good spirits.
it was the fifteenth anniversary of King Viserys marriage to Queen Alicent Hightower
And he wanted to celebrate it, he wanted everyone to celebrate it with him.
But you had spent the last six months in the Red Keep after losing your father, and the truth is, even if you were excited to spend time with your cousins and nephews, knowing there were kids you could play with… you came to a rude awakening.
They didn’t receive you with open arms, they didn’t want to play with you, in fact, they seemed to want to play you instead.
They were mean and rude, using you as targets for their pranks and mean jokes.
You tried to avoid them, but you had classes with them, you visited the Dragonpit alongside them, and you had lessons taught by maesters by their side.
Uncle Viserys seemed surprised when he learned that your father was educating you like you were a little boy, learning about politics and philosophy, instead of knitting and poetry. He was pleased, and didn’t go against his brother’s desires so he put you to learn alongside his sons and grandsons
He meant well, they didn’t
You were soon brought back to reality when Jace pulled your hair roughly
“And (Y/N) with her imaginary dragon”, he mocked
“My dragon exists”, she pouted, “she is not made up”
“Then where is she? we had never seen her!”, mocked Luke
“She is real! I’m telling you! it was my father’s dragon, she is shy that is all”, Aemond didn’t say anything
“Even she has a dragon, but not you Uncle!”, continued Jace, “but we are going to change that”, your ears picked up, and you looked interested, how Luke jogged down the ramp
“You found a dragon? how?”, asked Aemond
“The Gods provide”, muttered Aegon, and you and Aemond both stopped your very thoughts when Luke came running up with a pig on a leash, wings and a tail of straws.
“Behold! the pink dread!”, they mocked, and for once, even if you were relieved they targeted Aemond this time, and not you, you still felt bitter
“You can share it with (Y/N)!”, Jace said, ah there it was.
That very night the Red Keep was overflowing, with lords and ladies from all the corners of the realm that had come to celebrate the King and the Queen and their love. You were so excited, perhaps you would meet more children to play with, to befriend.
The maids dressed you and Helaena, her in a green gown, and you in a red one, with golden patterns, you felt like a little princess. Well, not like you weren’t one. they braided your hair beautifully, you were so happy.
But as soon as you got out of Helaena’s chambers, the boys were there, no doubt waiting for you. They held one of Helaena’s bugs, to her horror, a big centipede. You shrieked when they moved it teasingly near you
“Your hairdo is missing something!”, they would mock
“No! it doesn’t!”, you fought, trying to move Jace’s hand away from your head. You pushed Jace with all your might, and then you ran away from them. You heard them chasing after you, but you were smaller, and faster, so you managed to lose them in the many corridors of Maegor’s Holdfast
Your hiding turned long, you knew you were late to the banquet, so turning gently and slowly in every corner and looking over your shoulder, you walked towards the throne room that had been arranged for the feast.
The room was booming in the middle of dinner, the wine was flowing freely and the meat was being served, you had almost managed to escape your torturers… almost…
The banquet began and the boys had already shown you what they planned to do to your hair… so you didn’t wait to submit to that fate, instead, you found a place where the long big table was empty, or sort of, and you ducked underneath, not wanting the boys to ruin your pretty hair. You crawled under the table to safety…
You were safe… but not for long.
You noticed people sitting on the part of the table you were hiding under. Soon a big black boot almost stepped on you and you whimpered in fear, the sole colliding with your knees.
You looked up and the tablecloth was moved out of the way and a face showed up, looking no doubt at the soft thing he almost crushed. It was a young man, dark hair, gentle eyes and black clothing
“What are you doing down there?”, he asked, looking down the table at you, his gray eyes made you tremble. It was none other than Cregan Stark, of course, you didn’t know that then
“I’m hiding Ser”, she whispered, Cregan chuckled
“I’m not a Ser, I’m a Lord”, he corrected
“I’m sorry Lord”, she muttered
“Why are you hiding?”, he asked then
“They mock me, they pull my hair, they tangle bugs in it, they call me names”, she confessed, hiding her face in her knees, “they are mean to me, my cousins and nephews”
“I’m sorry”, he then looked up from her, towards the back of the table, where the kids passed running looking for something, or her, more like it. “She left that way”, he indicated away to Aemond, Jace and Luke, and the boys ran away, when they were gone, he looked down the tablea gain, “they are gone”
“Thank you Lord”, she answered with a smile
“Sit with me, nobody would dare to mess with the wolves”, he offered, showing you a hand, “you look so pretty, it would be a shame if nobody got to see it”, he said gently. You smiled brightly, and took his hand.
Everybody seemed surprised when you came out from under the table, you were in the middle of the Northmen, you only had to look at the wolf sewed in their clothes to see it
You took a seat by the leader, between him and a beautiful lady.
“This is my lady wife, Arra Norryn”, he introduced, and you smiled
“Nice to meet you”, you greeted
“And who you might be?”, she asked with a gentle smile, sharing looks with Cregan, if your hair was any indication, but they were playing along
“I’m (Y/N) Targaryen”, you said politely, just like your father has taught you, you offered your hand to the nice lady and she shook it
“I’m Lord Cregan Stark”, the nice man introduced himself, giving you his hand to shake, and you took it amongst yours, “nice to meet you princess”. You beamed
“Thank you for inviting me to join My Lords”. When you looked in front of you, you saw your cousins and nephews looking at you wide eyed, and you couldn’t help but stick out the tip of your tongue to them, they couldn’t bother you now.
“You are such a sweet princess, if I may say so”, the nice Lady Arra said.
“You too, My Lady”, you answered back. And the Lords of Winterfell shared looks.
For members of court that looked over at the table of the Northmen, they would chuckle in amusement when they saw you, a silver and red dot in the middle of dark haired and black wearers, lords and ladies.
Of course the Queen immediately spotted you, and she sent Criston Cole to remove you from the table of the Starks, pulling you roughly by the arm and making you sit right amongst Jace and Aemond on the main table
“You thought you got away?”, mocked Jace, “I got some news for you”, he whispered, sticking a chicken bone trough the longest of your braids
“I hate you”, you cried, defeated. But as you looked along the table to your new found friends, the big man with dark hair smiled apologetically to you, and you only waved back, sadly
That was the first time you laid eyes on Cregan Stark
But not the last.
the relationships you had with your cousins and nephews did not improve, in fact, it worsened, so you found ways to escape them, mainly, by hanging out with Helaena
Your uncle, the King, never failed in telling you how much you reminded him of your father, but other than that, he didn’t quite pay attention to you much, not that he paid attention to your cousins and nephews either…
You sometimes would accompany him while he arranged his model of Old Valyria, but that was it.
Luckily for you, or sort of, everything changed when your aunt Laena passed away, the family went to Driftmark, and an altercation occurred.
The Velaryon were bastards, that is what you have heard, that is what everybody was saying, and Aegon was right, you just had to look at them to realize it, Jace was a spitting image of that super nice knight, Ser Harwin Strong, you didn’t understand why it was such a big deal, but a fight ensued, knives were drawn.
Jace and Luke left with cousin Rhaenyra to live in Dragonstone, two of your torturers gone, but Aemond…
Oh Aemond.
That night, you defended Rhaena, declaring that you had inherited your father’s dragon, and she should have done the same, so Aemond pushed you the hardest against the stone wall, making your hands raw when they hit the stones trying to stop your face from colliding. You whimpered in pain, but you felt silly when Luke got his nose broken and Aemond…
Aemond had lost an eye
You were no longer children playing cruel jokes to one another.
Blood had been drawn, insults were exchanged…
And everything changed. For the worst.
The Red Keep had become dark, mournful even.
You were not a stranger to the enmity between Princess Rhaenyra and Queen Alicent, but you didn’t know what it was about, or why they always were so unhappy with one another. You only noticed the tension between them in family dinners and after council meetings. Even you could notice and you could barely breathe sometimes over the table.
The only one you had left was Aemond, and sometimes Helaena
Aemond didn’t chase you around with spiders, or hid buggers inside the pages of the books you liked to read. He was even more cruel, with mean looks, he sometimes would shove you when he passed you in the Hallways and you would collide heavily with the stone walls. He would say horrible things about you right in front of you like you were not even there, and he would pull your hair to move you out of his way.
He would say things like. “She is a burden”, “an orphan”, sometimes he even called you a bastard
Helaena said he was jealous, but you didn’t understood why in earth he would be jealous of you!, and she once went further and hinted that he liked you, loved you even, but you shook your head and called her silly
Love doesn’t make you hurt.
Heavy days turned to weeks, turned to months and years. And soon, everyone was talking about how you were becoming a Lady, of barely thirteen name days under your arm.
And you felt more like a Lady, you didn’t care about the same things you did when you were younger.
Aemond’s cruelty had come to a some sort of stop.
Because now you were a lady you were instructed by Septas, not Maesters, and Ladies, and not Knights and Professors.
And even if your knitting lessons would bore you the death, you preferred it to Aemond choosing every opportunity in your lessons to humiliate you. Besided, after he lost his eye, Aemond had completely changed.
He always seemed to be the mature one of all his siblings and nephews, but now, he was not only serious, but bitter, and more cruel than before.
You never saw him smile again. And his horrible attitude towards you made it difficult for you to feel sorry for him. You didn’t. You didn’t think he deserved it either, but you didn’t pity him, and that, unbeknownst to you, made him hate you even more.
It got so bad even Alicent noticed it, of course she didn’t say anything but she tried her best to keep you away from him as much as possible.
Yes, your stay in the Red Keep wasn’t a pleasant one, you missed your father terribly. You missed your home, a small castle in the Valley, with views to the Narrow Sea. You felt like you were a permanent guest here, but a guest at last. Nothing was truly yours.
But you tried to keep your smiles, you good attitude, you were found always smiling, always helping, lighting every room you entered…
If only you knew that was the reason Aemond hated you.
He hated how happy you were, you were an orphan, alone, mistreated, you should be as miserable as he felt, he, that had his parents, and a dragon, and everything he could ask for in the palm of his hand or an order away, he was retched, and you were always happy and smiling.
He wanted you to feel as he felt, but he could never accomplish it, he could never break you.
And in time instead of frustrating him, it only spurred him on.
Aegon paid you no mind, he was four years older than you and since he was fourteen he learned how to scape the Red Keep and found pleasures of the flesh, and when Aemond turned thirteen he introduced him to those pleasures.
And Aemonds attitude towards you changed once more…
He didn’t push you no more, he started grabbing you, your wrists, your arms so roughly they bruised.
When he pushed you against the stone walls he didn’t just snicker and leave, no, he would grab your wrists and corner you, only watching you with his only eye and a thin line as his lips, and then he would release you and leave.
It started scaring you, so you avoided him like the plague, instead hiding in Helaena’s room, but she soon married Aegon, so you couldn’t do that anymore either.
You made one friend though, Tyland the master of coin’s daughter, she was so sweet, a little mischievous, always getting you into trouble, but it was nice to have a friend.
You were walking alongside her when Aemond walked by, he grabbed your arm roughly and leaned in to take a sniff at your hair by your ear, he muttered an “mmm” and then he walked away. You only signed, already accustomed to his rough ways.
And she had watched it all happen.
“The one-eye prince liked you, on his own way”, she mocked
“He hates me”, you muttered, “and I’m tired of it”
“I don’t think he does”, she mocked, “I bet he is going to ask his mother to betrothed you two”
“I’d rather get trampled and eaten by my dragon”, you said back
“Anyways, let’s talk about it when you are popping out silver haired princes”, you rolled your eyes. “Anyways, have you heard? The Starks are arriving in court”
“Why?” You asked
“They said the Wolf is looking for a wife, Lady Arra Norryn died, her and the babe on childbirth”, you looked at her wide eyed
“Really? That’s horrible”, you muttered, your heart clenching thinking about how heartbreaking that must be for him, you remembered the Northerner Lord fondly.
You wanted to see him, you wanted to say you are sorry for him loosing his wife’s and that you were at his service for everything he might need.
But you couldn’t find him.
First he was getting settled in his rooms, then he had audience with the King, and then, the courtship began, every man in court Im who had a daughter in elegible age wanted to see the Young lord, so you couldn’t offer your condolences
On top of that… One of the Queen’s maids said that Aemond wanted to speak to you.
Aemond had never requested your attention, he gave you no choice but to stand there and listen to whatever mean thing he had to say…
The very thought of what he might want to discuss with you made your skin crawl.
So you did what you had learned to do best…
You hid.
Your favorite spot had become a tall Cypress in the godswood, their branches and the way they were trimmed allowed you to hide comfortably, in some sort of natural tree house.
You took a book with you and waited until no don’t was around to climb up, and you hid up there
But another person felt the same need as you.
This person wanted to escape the heat of court, and enjoy a little shade in the godswood, looking at the Heart tree, to be close to his gods.
So Cregan Stark sat on the foot of the tree, wanted to rest until… your book fell from your hand and landed right by him.
You gasped and that is all it took for him to look up and find you
“Why every time I see you, you are hiding from something?”, he spoke to you, a soft smile on his lips
“Someone”
“Uh?”, he asked
“I’m hiding from someone” you corrected.
“That is worse”, he said, “why are you hiding this time?”, he spoke like three years hadn’t gone by and you were that little kid hiding under the table.
“Someone wants to speak to me, and I don’t want to speak to him”
“It’s a boy, then”
“More like a messenger from the seven devils”, you mocked. Feeling at ease, he wasn’t looking right at you, you were still hidden, and he was seated looking at the gods tree
“I’m sorry about your wife, my lord”, you said gently
“It happened two years ago”, he answered sharply
“But I’m guessing it still hurts”, he got quiet for a moment
“It did, it does”
“Did you love her?”, you have no clue why you asked that, but not having him looking straight at you give you courage
“I did”, he said truthfully, “I had the luck of marrying my very best friend, the girl I known since I was born, and I lost her”
“I’m very sorry”, you whispered, “I Can’t imagine what you are feeling, because what you had, of being friends with the person you married, is truly something magnificent”, you whispered, looking up at the branches being caressed by the soft summer wind
“Thank you princess”, he whispered, “you alongside my sister where the only ones who truly gave a heartfelt sympathy, everyone else is just… is expecting me to move on”
“You can feel whatever you need to feel, only you will tell when you are ready to move on”, you offered, “tell them to fuck off”, you covered your mouth when you let out that curse, but he only chuckled
“I will princess”, he said, he then stood up, and offered his hand to help you climb down, and you did accept his help, letting yourself fall free to his arms because you knew he was going to catch you, and he did.
He released you so your feet touched the ground.
“I offer the same advice princess” he said with a smile, “tell them to fuck off”. You giggled and nodded, picking up your book from the ground
“See you around my lord”
“See you around” he whispered
You walked away from the godswood, and in your way to Maegor’s holdfast, you encountered Aemond
“Where were you!? I needed to speak to you”, he said, with his characteristic arrogance
“Oh fuck off Aemond!” You responded , escaping his wandering hand and walking hastily away from him, leaving him standing in the middle of the hallway.
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