kelliealtogether reblogged
30 incredibly specific aus
- ghost/cryptid hunter and person who will believe any dumb shit for a steady paycheck
- roommate A grabs the baseball bat only to find roommate B eating pickles and macarons in the kitchen at 4 in the morning
- yes I am a vampire sorry no the sleeping upside down hanging off the ceiling thing was just a bit
- undeniable chemistry between the two lead actors in the worst hallmark movie ever
- verified purchase reviewer on multipack of toy horses that only says THE RED ONES TASTE THE BEST and customer service agent going hello???? enemies to lovers nightmare
- librarian desperate to understand what wild phase the other character is going thru rn
- goofing around in ikea and accidentally spending +2 hours in there. where does it end and honestly where is the bathroom
- roped into a d&d game with someone and having a crush on them but only knowing their character name
- "So what brings you to the ER today?" well I laughed so hard at my own joke I passed out and hit my head? "oh my god" I know
- made a little offering to an ancient deity for funsies and woke them from a deep slumber. oops
- I don't know why you've got a ferret on a leash but at least I've stopped crying on public transportation to watch that lil guy go
- the decorative fishtank at this restaurant just broke, my instant reaction was to pick one of the fish up with my bare hands, and now we've made eye contact about it
- sorry for swearing a blood feud against you but in my defense you paid for your whole transaction in quarters
- I'm so so sorry I didn't mean to honk at you, I sneezed and hit the honker on accident please don't be upset at me
- nothing against your choices at all, honestly kind of enthralled, but the fishnets and thigh high boots and pirate blouse seem like a lot for this 8am class
- you make me sick. babe I want to make this work but I'm so allergic to your fur
- i can excuse unethical science but I draw the line at skirting lab safety. you cannot be eating rn
- doctor doctor give me the news, I got a bad case of uncontrollable super powers
- listen it's just a mild case of radiation poisoning you don't have to yell abt it
- accidentally saw their coworker's nipple piercings
- hang on have you never seen the stars outside of the city? we're going on a road trip immediately
- working on the moon is fine but the alien jokes are getting old
- pretending to be married for this high stakes heist is kind of distracting not gonna lie
- truth serum is stupid and this is never gonna work but the fact you believe it will makes me love you even more. wait. shit
- you know I've been waiting for an excuse to come unhinged and I think this might be it actually, so thank you for that
- hahaha no worries, it's not my blood
- but what's wrong with the lyric, "baby you make me feel like the home depot light fixture aisle" ?? I don't understand
- haha don't roll up your sleeves and tie up your hair our relationship is so platonic rn haha
- I would help you move. I would follow you into hell. but you cannot make me come on vacation with your family I will do an actual homicide stop nodding and smiling at me I'm so serious
- hey bud. I didn't mean to reveal that I can read minds but I gotta know what in the actual hell is going on in your head, do you live like this? always??
