hello i have returned

i still don't know what i'm doing and i have no wips send help

Anon ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ asked: would you ever consider writing a sequel to carpe diem where niki's in seventh year? the ending is so perfect but i'm not ready to let them go :') :') :')

it’s so funny that u say this because i keep thinking about doing this… idk how likely it is but the thought has crossed my mind several times and even though i don’t have specific ideas (if i did it would probably be written already loool) yet i know i would be super motivated for it and have an easy time stepping back into that world and their feelings. tbh with the right idea and the right moment i definitely see it happening- just need the right amount of brain rot!! i have so much fondness for carpe diem and it was so comforting and magical to write i think it would be so lovely to return to them soon

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Anon ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ asked: cherries i'm so curious about your thoughts on taewon bc they have been giving me massive brainrot ever since tyun replied to that video

aren’t taewon just a dream?? every time they interact i’m seriously like “oh my god this cannot be real” and then they just outdo themselves the next time. i love that jungwon brings out this really tender, affectionate side of taehyun, and i love that jungwon lets himself be babied by taehyun.

i can really see why taehyun is so drawn to jungwon. he’s younger but so mature; jungwon is a walking contradiction sometimes the way jungkook is, tiny waist and broad shoulders and deep voice and kitten face, deep sense of responsibility and but also embodying the uncertainty of youth in the way he looks to others. i’ve been thinking of jungwon in a really new way since i got barricade at the fate tour - i’ve never seen an idol exude aegyo and such a young, charming sort of purity like he does. he just radiates a really genuine kindness that makes you want to take care of him in return, and he’s so emotionally intelligent and curious that it does make a lot of sense to me that taehyun would be drawn to him.

that being said i’m also dying to know more about how they became friends in the first place, and just more about their interactions in general, because it’s all such a mystery and most of what we see is taehyun calling jungwon his baby and pretty and kissing his head and. wow they make me insane actually i need to know more so bad but i am also so content with what they show us and that they have each other… and it would be lovely to see them interact more as artists in the future too!!

it’s so interesting because there are a lot of really obvious friendships that you could’ve guessed from when enha and txt started interacting, heeseung/yeonjun and heeseung/beomgyu and the 02z, just to name a few, and taehyun and jungwon were so unexpected and also wonderful.

thank u taewon for feeding us so generously i hope u always continue

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Anon ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ asked: god hi hello i just wanted to tell you how much i freaking love white whale so so much. its insane how it was the comfort i needed today its actually crazy how it stumbled in my tl. and im so so wrecked about the playlist!!!! it fits the fic so so much. everything about it has become so dear to my heart im so glad you took your time to write that fic (with a playlist!!!!) sorry for being unnecessarily sappy but i truly loveee the fic so much i hope you have a great day!!!!!

thank you thank you thank you!! i’m so happy that you loved the fic and it brought you comfort ❤️❤️ it was such a joy to write from start to finish, and deeply personal to me.

i’ve never actually made a fic playlist before, but this playlist truly made itself. i spent a long time thinking about the order of the songs, and i did take a few out when they didn’t fit the way i wanted to, but each of the songs that appears in the playlist came to mind really naturally. most of the songs i’ve known and loved for a long time, and some have brought me comfort and a sense of belonging when i’ve felt lonely or depressed. it felt right to have the playlist and after listening to it whenever i needed to get in the mindset to write, i eventually decided it felt like it needed to be shared :)

thank you again!!

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Anon ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ asked: Hey!! I just finished reading White Whale, and tbh after an emotional story like that there’s not many words that come to mind right away… feels like I have to sit in the last few words for a bit But what I can tell you is that I’m a barista, and seeing Yeonjun volunteering and your depiction of S&B as someplace warm and inviting makes me a little more excited to go to work today - my first latte art of the day will be dedicated to you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this wonderful story

this made me smile so hard omg- i’ve never worked in a cafe but i have worked in other customer service, and i was so worried about striking a balance between writing S&B as the place soogyu dream of while also respecting just how difficult customer service can be. it’s a tough thing to romanticize! but while writing, a few cafes i’ve been to came to mind- ones with the vibes i did my best to describe in the fic, with baristas that, even in our brief interactions, brightened my day and made me feel seen. i’m so grateful that my words could have such an impact on you and this really means more than i can say. thank you so so much ❤️❤️

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Anon ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ asked: How was seeing Jake irl ? 🥺

oh my gosh it was so so good... jake gives off one of if not the Most like. Real and Human Energy from any idol i've seen live and up close. idk if it's because he's about my age or because he speaks english (and yeah, there are unfortunately and undeniably some things that do just click without any translation involved) or just Who He Is and his energy in general but seeing him irl is just so enlightening! i am so incredibly proud of how far he's come since iland and debut and it's so so so inspiring to me.

jake never really comes up in conversations about dance (that i've seen anyway) and i think this is such a shame. maybe it's because enhypen are so strong in dance overall but i'm always so impressed by how powerful jake is. i used to be very intrigued by the choice to place him at the center of certain moments like at the end of dance breaks (as opposed to members that had more immediate star/dance power at debut; obv this has changed a lot over time as the members have all grown) but it makes perfect sense that hype saw so much potential in him. his aura is crazy and his vocal tone and technique has come such a long way too. he's an even more enjoyable performer to watch than last year and he stuck out to me soooo much when i was at barricade and seated.

also when they were doing the dance cam and jake was holding the camera at one point he was standing directly in front of me, on the ledge down from the stage a bit, and all i could do was stare in shock... like all seven of them were there and so close and gorgeous and had such powerful energy, but all i could think of in that moment was oh my god, he is so real, he is so beautiful... he's kind of a shortie lol, he's very little and just seeing him standing there doing this super endearing and very human thing took me out omfg, idk how to describe it without it sounding weird but out of all the times I've been super close to idols that was the time that was most, like, this is a guy functioning as a human. idk he is just some guy!!! a very lovely sweet handsome guy... and soooo silly, he's very often the ringleader of impromptu funny moments!

not just the funny moments but the sweet ones too... at newark day one he talked about how it was so good to see so many different engenes of all nationalities present and it was such a good moment, and you could feel how much the crowd appreciated it. i could see the monitors from my spot and it wasn't scripted at all. heeseung also did his ment unscripted in english that day and you could tell that he was nervous. as soon as he started speaking jake was giving him his undivided attention and gave him a reassuring nod that totally broke me. and when heeseung finished talking he asked engenes to cheer more for him. jake has such a kind soul and is such a rock for his members, especially in the states, and it's such a dream to see this irl.

send off was insanely chaotic; if you didn't leave the concert early you were Not within the first two rows of people. i was in the 3rd/4th row but was still able to get a few signatures; the members and the staff reach to the back rows to take whatever you hold out and the staff happened to grab my picket for jake. as he was handing it back i was absolutely Vibrating haha, just gushed thank you so much im proud of you i love you and jake looked up and grinned in such a cute way it absolutely melted me; im soooo sad i didn't get it on video but it was just so human and lovely, wow

my sanity would probably also be more intact if he kept his tongue inside his mouth more

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Anon ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ asked: the brief yeonbin glimpse in spring rain where tyun walks in on yeonbin having a moment in the kitchen where yeonbin are whispering to each other as yeonjun holds soobin's face and soobin has his hands around yeonjun's waist lives in my head absolutely rent free!!!!! it's intimate and tender and lovely and god it makes me so very curious about their backstory and their dynamic and how they reached that level of comfort with each other and how the leader/pack alpha dynamic there was/is negotiated between them :')))

Ugh I love this moment... it was super self-indulgent to write tbh, I think spring rain's fault is that I didn't have enough time (unless I had literally doubled the length of the fic, and definitely needed a break by the time I finished writing it) to really delve into the other group pairings nearly as much as I would have liked. So adding little moments like this really held them together as much as I could.

I think it's an interesting moment because it makes tyun wonder how he and kai would have been involved in 3choi's relationship if they hadn't been alphas, and if they ever would have even known about it. My answer to both is yes, but them presenting was definitely a catalyst! 3choi's relationships with each other were extremely nebulous and their group relationship was even more so. But between yeonbin, beomjun, and soogyu, yeonbin's relationship was definitely the most established.

All three of them presented predebut, but yeonbin were first, and I think the level of intimacy they achieved then surprised even themselves, considering that Soobin's presentation and the way he adjusted after was so difficult for him. And it was probably a complete secret between the two of them, probably something they didn't really put words to, until Beomgyu presented and they needed to confront their feelings and if they wished to be exclusive. I think that Yeonjun probably originally ~helped~ Soobin out of desperation to ease his pain and be closer to him; I think that yeonbin's irl predebut dynamic of how much Yeonjun wanted to be a safe place for Soobin carries over to spring rain. And then it didn't stop for their future ruts - they enjoyed it the first time, and even if things were so nebulous, they helped each other.

Yeonjun's personality in spring rain was of course based on his irl personality, but my twin has pointed out a few times that he has a bit of TSS Eugene in him lol, he's pretty fiery and loyal and has more of a temper than I imagine irl Yeonjun was. And with Soobin struggling with his alpha identity, this definitely led to conflict in the beginning. Not because they didn't respect each other - quite the opposite, actually, yeonbin's deep respect for each other and their positions is one of my favorite things about them and I think that + their predebut dynamics would potentially even lead them to be too afraid to step on each other's toes, and then there might be some sort of breaking point... a lot of trial and error for sure; I think they're able to recognize that they play their specific roles (pack alpha + oldest vs leader) well but neither of them are suited for all of these roles at once, or all of these roles period. I think that if they ever had moments of bossing the other around or trying to take on these tasks they'd realize this pretty quickly lol. Above all, though, I think that they would just really want to make it work, whatever that took, both for each other and their dreams and for the thing growing between them - something that they don't know if it's worth it yet, but has been nothing but good so far, and is something they want to protect.

Also I think that their closeness also comes with time (and has its natural ups and downs), but maybe tyunning presenting and their group relationship finally becoming more Real is like permission to them :,) they would only have had these tender moments in the privacy of their rooms before and now they don't care if anyone sees the affection they'd hidden between each other for so long. I think that this would make them generally more free with their affection too

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