Originally posted by valenschmidt

AN | Hi bb, I’m sorry this took a bit to get to! This one got to me a little bit because I understand in my own way what you’re going through; next month it’ll be two years since I lost my mom and I know how hard it can be. I hope you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself and know you are loved.

Warnings | [Parent] Death and grieving 

Pairing | Steve x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2k

Masterlist | Steve, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You stared out the window and watched the rain falling. It seemed like it hadn’t let up in ages and mirrored how your heart had been feeling. You heard his soft footsteps, having memorized his gait over the years, but it still made you jump when he rapped his knuckles against your open door. You found that you didn’t even have the energy to look over at him, instead leaning your head against the glass as you sat in the bay window.

“Hey sweetheart.” Steve always had the sweetest and softest voice. He came across the room, pressed a kiss to the crown of your head before sitting opposite you on the padded seat. He bent his knees and they touched yours, the contact so minimal but so needed and comforting in the moment. He didn’t ask how you were doing, and honestly? You appreciated that so much. He knew you weren’t okay and he respected that.

“Hi Stevie,” your throat was dry and scratchy. It was the first thing you’d said out loud all day. The boy reached for your hand, gently taking it in his as he threaded your fingers together. He offered you the smallest of smiles and you found it in yourself to give it back to him, “you didn’t have to come over.”

“I wanted to,” he promised and you knew he meant it. He was good like, always so gentle and kind and loving. You didn’t how you deserved him but you loved him so much that it hurt sometimes, “wanted to see my girl. I love you.”

“I love you,” you echoed, the sentiment sounding flat and monotone, but you supposed everything you said these days did. But he knew that you meant it, “I don’t think I’m very much fun today, Steve. I don’t want to bore you.”

“You could never bore me. ‘sides, you’re my favorite person ever and even doing nothing with you makes me happy,” you felt tears well up at the sentiment and couldn’t help the way your lip trembled with effort as you tried not to cry. 

“Oh Steve,” the tears pearled up and ran down your cheeks. He used his free to hand to gently brush them away, tenderly running his knuckles along the apple of your cheek. You sniffled at him and, as if he could read your mind, he gently pulled you into lap, “I’m sorry. I just…I don’t even know. But I love you, I know that much.”

“I know, sweetheart,” he wrapped his strong arms around your waist as looped yours around his neck before lying against his chest. He held you tightly, rubbing your back in soothing motions as you buried your face in his neck. He could feel the cotton of his shirt getting soaked with tears, but he didn’t mind. Steve just hoped that he could properly convey just how much he loved you, “I’ve got you, okay? I’ve always got you, baby.”

And he held you for some time, letting you get out all of your tears and whatever else you needed out, whimpering soft words of love and devotion in your ear. Once you were all out of tears and feeling exhausted, you pulled back to look at your boyfriend with red-rimmed eyes. He kissed your cheek before he pressed his forehead against yours, “c-can we stay in today? I don’t feel like doing much. I kinda just want to get in bed and take a nap.”

“We can do whatever you want,” he promised, “a nap sounds good too. Let’s do that, and the rest we can figure out later.”

“You’ll stay?”

“I’ll stay however long you want me to.”

“Forever?”

“Forever it is.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Steve?” the golden boy was lying next to you in bed, half awake and blinking his pretty honeyed eyes sleepily. He turned on his side so he could properly face you, using a tender touch to brush your hair out of your face. You made a small sound but leaned into his touch. 

“Sweetheart,” a lazy smile tugged up the corner of his mouth and you couldn’t help but press a kiss there, “good morning to you.”

“Hi,” your heart swelled with affection for the boy. He’d been so good to you over the last couple of months - not that he hadn’t been before - but you were so thankful for him. You weren’t sure if you could have handled things as well without him. He was so patient, never pushing or pulling, so attentive and he poured every bit of love he had into you. A lot of people ended up just leaving you to your own devices after a bit, offering their condolences at the loss of your mother and telling you to reach out, but you could tell their concern was only surface level. 

But not Steve. Not your wonderful, amazing boyfriend. He was there with you through the multitude of emotions and stages of grief (which totally didn’t happen how everyone made it seem), and never made you feel unloved or like your feelings were invalid. And maybe he didn’t always know what to say or do, but having him there, your rock, made everyday a little bit easier.

“I was thinking,” you whispered softly and you half expected him to tease you but he didn’t. Not today, despite the fact that you knew what his little smile meant, “I think I was to go and see her today. I think I’m ready.”

You hadn’t gone back to the cemetery since her funeral. It felt like if you went, you were acknowledging that she was permanently gone, that she was never coming back. If you never visited, you could almost pretend that she was just gone on a trip or something. But you knew the truth and while it still hurt, and you knew it always would, you couldn’t just keep ignoring things either. And maybe it would be some sort of closure, or something, but you felt that you needed this. 

“Okay,” he leaned in and kissed you softly, pulling you closer into his warm, pliable body, “that’s what we’ll do today. I’m with you every step of the way, sweetheart.”

“I know,” you exhaled shakily but offered him a smile nonetheless, “I love you so much, Steve.”

“I love you too, baby.”

-─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It turned out that talking about going and actually going to the cemetery were two totally different things. As soon as Steve had parked, you clutched at the flowers in your hand tightly. Sunflowers - they’d been her favorites. Steve didn’t push you to get out, instead holding your hand and letting you nervously ramble. You’d be ready when you were ready, and he would have waited however look it took. 

After about half an hour, you inhaled deeply and exhaled it all back out slowly. You turned to Steve and found his features gently and soft as he held up your entwined hands and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, “okay. I’m ready.”

“Okay,” a gentle squeeze of reassurance on your hand. He waited until you reluctantly pulled your hand from his and stepped out of his car, brushing off your dress and holding the flowers close. He came over and wrapped an arm around your waist, “do you want me to come? Or would you prefer to go alone?”

“Come. Please?” you asked and he nodded without hesitation, “she really loved you too.”

“I know,” your mother had been more of a mom to him than his had ever been, “you know, sometimes she’d ask me when we were finally getting married so she could start just calling me her son. I told we’re still so young, but she always insisted when you know you know. She wasn’t wrong.”

“And she was already calling you her son anyway,” you laughed at the memory of her bragging about her wonderful daughter and amazing son-in-law to her coworkers, “she made me promise never to let you go.”

“Did you promise?” his voice held a soft, teasing tone and you couldn’t help but laugh lightly. It felt so good to laugh again.

“Of course,” you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. You fell into a comfortable silence as you walked along the path and through so many plots. So many people had been through exactly what you were going through now. And even if it didn’t make things better, it was comforting to know that you weren’t alone. 

You stopped when you saw her headstone, and it felt like that same initial blow all over again. For a moment you thought you were going to break down and cry, and go through it all again, but when you felt Steve holding onto you firmly, you were able to ground yourself. You could do this; it was always going to be difficult but you would be okay. 

You took the flowers that Steve had taken the duty of carrying and gently laid them down next to the others that were slowly drying up. There was something beautiful about seeing them all there, knowing that there was so much displayed through them, even if it was silent. 

“Hey mom,” you whispered softly as your fingers brushed over the dates etched into the marble, “I miss you so, so much. I wish you were here, I wish…I wish I could have one more day with you. Just…something. I wasn’t ready to let you go. But I know that you’re still here, in my heart, and that you always will be. I love you so much and I always will. I was so lucky to have you and be loved by you. But I’m still lucky because I had you and I still have dad and Steve. I don’t know how often I’ll be able to come out here, but I hope you know you’ll always be in my heart.”

You brushed away the few tears that had rolled down your cheeks before letting out a small breath of relief. You traced over her name before slowly standing back up. She might have been gone, but she’d never really be gone. 

Turning back, you found Steve standing there, his own eyes glossy with tears and a soft smile on his face. He held his arms open and you threw yourself into them, hugging onto him as tightly as you could. 

“I love you,” you whispered into his ear before pulling back to study the pretty boy, “my sweet Stevie.”

“I love you,” he smiled sweetly, his hand settling on your hip in a loving grasp, “I’m glad we came.”

“Me too,” you agreed and today you actually meant it. You felt better - lighter - than you had in a long time. It still hurt, but today it hurt a little less. And you knew that over time it wouldn’t feel anything like this anymore. There would always be love and that was the best part of all, “thank you for always there for me.”

“I told you,” he tenderly brushed your hair out of your face, “I’m here forever. With you.”

“Forever with you sounds perfect to me, Steve Harrington.”