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Floating in a Strange Land

@floatingaroundinmymind / floatingaroundinmymind.tumblr.com

The fog has lifted, but a forest remains; do I dare to venture forth into the unknown recesses of my own mind? DID system, 28/NB/Writer They/Them ๐ŸŒˆ
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God, it's been a while since I've been on here. Quite frankly, I forgot I even had this account.

A lot has changed, a lot hasn'tโ€”if anyone cares, I figured out my whole mental illness mystery after nearly a decade and a half of research, in-between living in confusion and fear.

It turns out I'm a system with CPTSD, so that's been new and time-consuming to navigate. Not to mention emotion intensive.

But I'm back here for a bit, I have a lot of new writing and art and...yeah

I hope I stick around here for longer than the last time, if my memory allows

#personal#update#mental illness#actually did#actually cptsd
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reimeichan

Signs of having DID that I ignored (note that these are not exclusively signs of DID but they were for me):

  • I don't have amnesia, that's just short term memory loss because I have ADHD!
  • I actually have a very good memory, I'm great at memorizing things (what do you mean that's not the same thing)
  • sure it may seem like my mood changes drastically but I've read online that's common in people with ADHD! it's hard for us to regulate our emotions!
  • so what if I have different preferences from time to time? that's normal right? like when your mood changes you may prefer different foods? what do you mean that's not the same as going from "I hate spicy foods" one day to "omg I LOVE spicy foods!" the next?
  • yeah okay I tend to space out in the middle of conversations then come back to and need you to remind me what you said for the past 10 seconds or so. that's just my ADHD inattentiveness. what do you mean that I only do this when stressed. what do you mean that's a form of dissociation.
  • speaking of dissociation, sure sometimes I feel like I'm watching myself say and do things without my own input but that's just because I was tired/stressed out
  • yeah sometimes I go on autopilot. my autopilot seems to have its own agenda sometimes though. weird.
  • sure I changed usernames a *few* times but isn't that pretty common? yeah I also wanted to change how I presented online and also my pronouns and stuff but again isn't it common for people to want to start over sometimes?
  • *making multiple accounts to play the same game because I play the game differently on different accounts and don't want to mess things up on one account*
  • oh yes, I'm genderfluid! I say that because my gender absolutely changes from moment to moment and sure it seems kinda tied to other aspects of myself like color preferences and energy levels and personality traits but I'm pretty sure that's just par for the course with genderfluidity?
  • "you're so different when you're around your parents vs when you're at school/work vs when you're hanging out with friends!" yeah that's called being a complex person we all have different masks we wear in different social situations and I'm no different even if it seems more extreme for me
  • "how was school/work/the hang-out/going to visit your parents?" I don't know I'm tired and have a giant headache and can't remember
  • "you said this to me the other day and it made me feel <x>" what????? I literally have no memory of this and that's so incredibly out of character for me wtf I would never do that I was probably just really stressed out and tired and had no filter on.
#dissociative identity disorder#actuallydid#yeah this was me in several ways#especially the multiple accounts#and the not remembering things 'i' said that I wouldnt
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xekstrin
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homunculus-argument

There was this guy in the 1800s - I can't remember his name, but his name is recorded somewhere - who honestly argued that if given the choice between a beautiful woman and a heron, deep down in their most earnest true heart, every man would rather fuck the heron. And he got mad when people denied this, continuing to deny this what he had decided must be an universal truth, instead of praising him for being the only one who was brave enough to finally say it out loud. Like he really thought that every single person telling him "Jesse what the hell are you talking about" was not only denying him, but denying themselves their true desires and perpetuating the apparently massive cultural lie that herons aren't fuckable.

Anyway what I'm saying here is that every once in a while whenever you find yourself in a situation where nobody else is willing to agree with something that you consider the most obvious truth, take a moment to meditate on the possibility that perhaps they do mean what they say, and perhaps they are right. Maybe nobody else but you wants to fuck the heron.

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lady-in-yellow

You can't just leave this in the replies

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ghostatservice

Guys this especimen is so real fr Look at this unblessed trainreck of a teen with religious trauma and repressed self ๐Ÿ™

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maxmckitty
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shockimage

Casual reminder that we would be nothing without black trans women

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shockimage

the amount of effort theyโ€™ve always put into making a safe and loving community has saved so many lives. we owe these ladies everything. fuck the whitewashed bullshit and put some respect on them for once.

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maxmckitty
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dreaming-of-coelacanths

Dear usamericans, can I interest you in an online copy of Civil Disobedience and The Theory of the Leisure Class ? As someone from a country where protesting is second-nature, I feel inclined to share these essays. They may be old, but they hold up surprisingly well in today's capitalistic hellscape. So read up! Knowledge is power.

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ladytuarach

Everyone should download this!!!

AND act accordingly!๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ™‚โœŒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป

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my-castles-crumbling

Me at age 13, exhausted at school after staying up all night to read fanfic: I canโ€™t wait until Iโ€™m an adult and I can stay up reading without any consequences!

Me, an adult, exhausted at work after staying up all night reading fanfic: Fuck.

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last-honey

in 2025 letโ€™s bring back being enthusiastic on ao3. leave a comment on every chapter. leave kudos and, if necessary, leave โ€œdouble kudosโ€ in the comments. tags and notes on bookmarks. the whole nine yards. letโ€™s show fanfic authors how much we love them.

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