How to Ask Steven stuff.
Because apparently we need a tutorial.
Okay guys. I know I encourage you to send me asks and then somehow don’t reply to any of your lovingly-crafted little gifts of joy and 280 characters. I ask for questions for Steven and then never touch them when they arrive.
And so it stands to reason that we may need to explain WHY and HOW I choose the asks I answer.
It turns out I DON’T just answer every question willy nilly, and I DON’T just answer the ones who yell the loudest, beg the most, and send me the most asks. In fact, all those things just make it more likely to delete your message! (Sorry guys, but if you wrote ‘plz reply!!!!’ into any message you sent me, there’s a 99% chance I deleted it immediately.)
Anyway, to remedy this breakdown in communication, I’ve decided to do a quick writeup of how I select asks - and which asks I delete on sight and why.
Keep in mind that this is not an exhaustive list.
[Text: Reason #1: Future Vision. Ask reads: “Steven!! Listen to me! You’re not a full gem! You’re White Diamond’s don! Pearl killed Pink! Rose Quartz isn’t who she says she is!!!” - REJECTED.]
Guilty of - trying to be a sapphire and using future vision to spoil plot points FOR THE CHARACTERS.
I will not reply to these asks. Full stop. The ONLY time I did was back in season 1 where someone told Steven he’s magical.
Reason: It takes away Steven’s ability to discover things on his own, and makes even less sense in the meta. WHY would a person sending him asks know more about it than he, himself does?
[Text: Reason #2: Choose Your Own Adventure Gaming. Ask reads: “Steven, you should go up to the lighthouse on top of the temple. Then knock on the door. Then talk to Ronaldo. Then ask him about Sneeple. Then...” - REJECTED]
Guilty of - trying to control Steven like a character in a videogame or an RPG.
These asks get a delete 90% of the time because 90% of the time they don’t move the story forward. They’re just the asker trying to grab control of the story to move it in the direction THEY personally want it to go. The solution here is to make your own story.
Even asks that have one thing are on thin ice. If you sent me a message that starts with ‘Steven, you should ___’ then there’s a 50% chance it will not be answered.
Reason: It says ‘ASK’, not ‘TELL’ and not ‘ORDER’.
[Text: Reason #3: Sex/Violence. Ask is censored with a mosaic. REJECTED. ]
Guilty of: Not reading the room.
We get it. You’re edgy. You Grew Up. You know about Big Adult Stuff. It’s Exciting for you because it’s new and makes you realize for the first time that you’re a bag of meat. You’re trying to wipe the feeling off by inflicting it on other people and hope it makes them feel the same way because you can’t handle thoughts going through it alone. The idea of thinking something and NOT immediately sharing it is alien to you. You have no self control.
Reason: There’s a time and place for everything. This is not that time, and not that place.
[Text: Reason #4: Too Soon. Ask: “Hey Steven, I just wanted to ask about how Earl feels about Rose now that she knows Rose shattered Pink Diamond!” ON HOLD.]
Guilty of: Jumping the gun and asking about a plot turn that has not yet taken place in the comic.
These asks are actually fine! :)
But I am unlikely to answer them anytime soon. The most likely outcome is that I save them to my Big Ol’ Pile of Asks and answer them... someday. When they finally become applicable.
[Text: Reason #5: Misc. Ask 1: “Hey can you draw me my OC he has spiky hair and anime eyes and big boots and his...” Ask 2: “can steven skateboard? also i love your work :)” Ask 3: “When is the next comic coming oooout? Last week you posted 36 panels and this week you ONLY posted 34!!! >:( Why are you so lazy?!”]
I think most of these are a little self-explanitory.
I will generally delete asks that:
- beg for artwork, especially for free
- ask ME questions instead of asking Steven, or combine them (sorry guys... I wanna answer, but if I can’t tell which one of us you’re talking to, I can’t use the ask!)
- Demand that I work MORE or that I’m somehow not satisfying your intense need for free-to-read content at the desired pace, because the world is your oyster and you NEED. THAT. PONY!!!!
...
I want to mention one LAST reason that I may be ‘ignoring’ your ask.
And that is to say, I’m not ignoring you at aLL and instead I’m just holding the ask quietly and sobbing because you’ve absolutely made my day with your kind words and I can’t find it in me to release the ask into the wild.
(I love you all, I promise I read your ask!! I’m just very bad at answering! I’m so sorry!!!!)
And just to finish off, to put your minds to rest I will also say this:
I WILL NEVER DELETE ASKS FOR ONLY THIS REASON:
- Your English isn’t “good enough”
I am an immigrant. I also had to learn English. Trust me, a few mistakes here and there are FINE! Don’t worry about spelling or grammar! If I understand you, we’re good.
Thank you for reading! I hope this was somewhat helpful.